Hello and welcome to the Miscellaneous Agency.  For you dimwits who do
not already know who we are, our mission is...
(Hey, what was our mission again?)
(How should I know?)
(Well, what do I say?)
(Wing it!)
Wing it! 
(No, no NO! Not what I meant!)
Ummmm...well...we'll come back to that.  On to
what we do.  Our sole purpose is to fill your head with nonsense and provide
the world with amazingly awful stores and businesses.  We take pride in our
utter absurdity and our downright nonsensical ideas.
Like a drop of food coloring in a batch of pancake batter, our stupidity spreads
quickly and is unavoidable. So go forth, eager patron, with the excitement of a kid 
in a veggie-mart (or something like that).